Elderly Parent's Repetitive Questions: Give Loving Answers
How often does your parent ask you the same question? If you are handling a contested conservatorship or litigation involving a parent in court, you must feel frustrated with the repeated questions. We have one solution for you: Give loving answers.
It is important that people with Alzheimer's or dementia remember feelings and not facts. Parents may not be able to remember facts, but they will remember and sense your feelings. I read an interesting article in DailyCare.com which give you a number of ways to handle repeated questions with loving gentleness:
"4 ways to respond when someone with Alzheimer’s repeats questions
1. Respond to the emotions, not the words
When your older adult starts to repeat a question over and over, try to guess what feelings might be causing the behavior. If they might be feeling anxious, giving a brief hug or hand squeeze while calmly answering the question may soothe them enough to stop their need to keep asking.
2. Keep your answers brief
It’s tempting to answer a question from a person with Alzheimer’s the same way you’d answer anybody else. But the shorter and simpler your answer, the better. It saves you time and energy and reduces your exasperation when you have to repeat it five more times.
3. Distract with an activity
Sometimes the only way to get your senior with dementia to stop repeating a question is to distract them with something they enjoy. Maybe that means offering a snack or favorite beverage.
Or, you could ask them a simple question to get them thinking about something else, like “The sky is blue today, isn’t it nice?” Another idea is to ask them to help you with a simple chore they’re still able to do, like folding laundry.
4. Escape for a few minutes
It’s tough to keep your cool and not snap at someone when you’ve been asked the same question for the twelfth time. Everyone’s patience runs out at some point, especially if this isn’t the first time it’s happened today."
One way to help an elder remember, is to create a memory folder with copies of the elder's information.
This folder may include a recent bank statement, with the bank account number redacted, a list of doctors, list of family members' phone numbers, medications, and caregiver information. Remind the elder that the folder is located on the dining room table, where he or she can get to it fast. Lists help elderly organize their thoughts and remember their feelings.
Mina Sirkin, an elder law litigation attorney who handles elder law and estate litigation, conservatorship litigation and contested matters, can be contacted at 818.340.4479 or by email at [email protected]. We help clients in Los Angeles, San Fernando Valley, Woodland Hills Conservatorships Attorney, Tarzana, Reseda, Encino, Agoura, Hidden Hills, Hollywood, Silverlake, Valley Village, Studio City, Granada Hills, Van Nuys, Burbank, Northridge, North Hollywood, Studio City, Sherman Oaks, San Fernando, Valley, Sunland, Pacoima, Panorama City, Marina Del Rey, Culver City, Glendale, and Pasadena areas. If you need a Conservatorship Referral in Los Angeles, call us: 818.340.4479