MomsRules

Who will take care of mom?

Who will take care of mom?  If you were lucky enough to have your mom well into your forties, you may be a woman who understands the responsibilities of taking care of your aging mom.    When it comes down to taking care of mom, statistically more women take care of their aging mothers than their male siblings.   Is it a fact of life that when boys grow up, they distance themselves from mom after creating their own families?  I don't know. 

Choosing the right type of housing for your aging mom is one of the most important decisions you would make if you are taking care of your mom.    The range of housing varies from her own home, board and care, to assisted living and skilled nursing facilities.    Depending on mobility of mom and whether or not a diagnosis of Alzheimer's or dementia has been made for her, your choices may be limited.   We use a scale in determining appropriate placement for our family members.

What steps do you need to take to plan for your mom's care as she gets older?

1.   Plan early.   Don't wait till mom is in her seventies or later.   Check into long-term care insurance when mom is relatively young and healthy.   Check for long-term care insurance with all associations and organizations to which you belong.

2.   Have a conversation with her about her preference for the types of housing available.   Record the conversation so you will remember it later.

3.   Talk to your local caregiver agencies and make a chart of all types of facilities available in your area. 

4.    Make a surprise visit to five different facilities.   Jot down notes after each of your visits.

5.    If you live in Los Angeles County, ask any member of the PVP panel about which facilities to avoid. 

6.    Ask about costs, and whether the facility is skilled or non-skilled, and Medicaid/Medi-Cal approved.

7.     Put together your mom's financial records to see how she can afford to pay for her housing and care.   

8.     Ask yourself, "will mom live BETTER in her own home with a caregiver?"   If you are thinking of moving mom in to your home, be sure to talk about this with your spouse LONG before it happens.    The stress this can create in your marital life should be one of the factors in your analysis.

9.     Email us for our Elder Parents' Resource Guide and checklist.  MSirkin@SirkinLaw.com.

Mina N. Sirkin is a Family Wealth Lawyer in Los Angeles, California.  Ms. Sirkin is a Board Certified Specialist in Estate Planning, Probate and Trust Law by the Board of Legal Specialization of the State Bar of California.  http://www.SirkinLaw.com.  Tel: 818-340-4479.  MSirkin@SirkinLaw.com.

What are your money beliefs?

Did you ever wake up in the middle of the night and over hear your parents talk?  Did you ever hear them talk about money?  In most cases, your beliefs about money are based on what you heard as a child.   These staircase conversations set a view for children about how they should view the world about money and other things.

I'm now making a concerted effort to teach my children to be abundant because abundance creates abundance in your life.    I tested the theory with my 7 year old.  It works.   Define abundance to your children, but more importantly show it to them.    Show them that you will give some of what you have to others, as it will bring abundance into your life.

Remember one thing, your kids believe whatever you tell them till they are 10-11.  After that, they form their own beliefs.   Plant the seeds you want them to grow for their future.

Mina N. Sirkin is a Family Wealth Lawyer and a TV Legal Expert in Los Angeles, CA. Ms. Sirkin is Certified as a Specialist Attorney in Estate Planning, Probate and Trust Law by the Board of Legal Specialization of the State Bar of California. MSirkin@SirkinLaw.com. http://www.SirkinLaw.com.

Copyright 2008 Mina N. Sirkin

Getting your money matters organized

Getting your money matters organized

To be able to create wealth, you need to have a Money Notebook. Regardless of whether or not you set this up manually, or electronically, you need to have it. Without it, you won't be able to have a summary of your finances at a flip of a page and you will waste countless hours chasing after something that you should ALWAYS have at your fingertips.

A financially fit mom sets aside 1 hour per week in getting the financial papers organized. After having read just about every GET ORGANIZED book, I realized I have to tackle this in the way my brain works, in small chuncs of time!!! Since I normally don't have an extended time to "think about it,", I created my own system: A three ring binder with 33 tabs. (4" Three ring binder $6.99, and 33 tabs $13.99 at Office Depo).

This helps in managing not only your financial documents, but also your time. Getting smart about organizing your financial papers won't happen overnight. It does however requires a commitment. During the next month, dedicate 1 hour each week (preferably on Thurs.) to thinking, talking, and learning about money management. I figured if Thurs. was the day, that I had to plan around it. Kid games, no games, business meetings, I will plan for one hour each Thurs. night to get financially organization.

After a while, financial planning will become part of your normal routine. Talk with your spouse or partner about working on your plan together. Some of us will chose to go it alone, just because it is easier. If you are a single mom, you have it easy. No one to report to other than yourself. If you are a married mom, you have to decide if it is easier to do it yourself, or to ask your hubby for help. If you ask for help and don't get it, just promise yourself that it won't turn into anger. Just do it yourself.

Organize Your Financial Documents

Becoming your household's money manager requires that you know, or can obtain, detailed information about your finances.

Some of the documents that you should keep in an easily accessible Money Notebook (three ring binder) include the following:

1. Bank statements for 12 months. After 12 months, file them away in a folder in your file cabinet.

2. Credit card information for 12 months. After 12 months, file them away in a folder in your file cabinet.

3. Mortgage and Line of credit information for 12 months. After 12 months file them away.

4. Investment information. You need a ledger or investment statements for 12 months PLUS the year-end statement for the last 3-5 years.

5. Insurance policies (latest insurance cover sheets). Keep a folder for full copy in your file cabinet.

Life Insurance
Car
Health
Home Owners

6. A copy of the first two pages of last year's tax returns. Keep a full copy in your file cabinet.

7. A copy of your wills/trust and instructions about where the original documents are kept.

8. A summary of your asset inventory in the first tab.

9. A summary of your debt inventory in the second tab.

10. A summary of your financial goals for the next three years in the third tab. Review this weekly.

Some important financial papers that should be kept in a safe deposit box at a bank or credit union. They include the following:

A. Birth certificates

B. Death certificates

C. Marriage license

D. Divorce papers

E. Military discharge papers

F. Original of Wills/Trust.

Contributed by: Penny Port, Mom and financial coach.

Mina N. Sirkin is a Family Wealth Lawyer and a TV Legal Expert in Los Angeles, CA. Ms. Sirkin is Certified as a Specialist Attorney in Estate Planning, Probate and Trust Law by the Board of Legal Specialization of the State Bar of California. MSirkin@SirkinLaw.com. http://www.SirkinLaw.com.

Copyright 2008 Mina N. Sirkin