Is it true that Love, Money and marriage don't mix?
Remember the old saying: First comes love, and then comes marriage, then comes mom with a baby carriage? Well, if you are like me, you probably started your happy marriage with debt, major college debt. Some couples bring their own personal debt with them to the marriage; other couples start racking up credit card bills as they plan their wedding and honeymoon together.
When I got married, I assumed (ASS+U+ME+ D= Assumed), that my hubby and I would pool our financial resources and pay-off my debt. Well, I was wrong!!! Soon after I finished school, I had to start making the monthly payments on my then huge debt ($56k) and he wasn't willing to share in my debts. Who knew that my hubby had debts of his own!!!!! Needless to say, that it put a great amount of stress on our marriage. Do yourself a favor, HAVE THE MONEY CONVERSATION BEFORE you get married.
Here are some of the things to talk about with your soon to be spouse and agree on:
1.What amount of monthly, and total debt do you each have?
2.What amount of monthly income do you each have?
3.How much in savings do you each have?
4.Set three major financial goals together for the next five years. If you don't have this, you will not get there.
5.Go see some neighborhoods where you want to live in the next five years and find out what it takes to buy a house and What type of neighborhood you both agree to. When kids come, this gets a little tougher.
6.Always keep a separate account from your spouse, regardless of having one joint account together.
7.NEVER, ever be a signer on your spouse's credit card. Here's why: If you ever get divorced, you want to separate your debt from his, rather easily. If he messes up his credit, it won't ruin yours. Don't get caught up on the free offers to get a second credit card with your spouse. Being a signer on your spouse's credit card ONLY protects the credit card company.
8.Have a Money Conversation with your soon to be spouse every year and put it on the calendar. (Not before a holiday!!!!)
9. Find out on a scale of 1-10, how your potential spouse ranks himself/herself as a spender.
To get a copy of my Money Conversations, send me an email with a request and we'll send one to you right away.
Mina N. Sirkin is a Family Wealth Lawyer and a TV Legal Expert in Los Angeles, CA. Ms. Sirkin is Certified as a Specialist Attorney in Estate Planning, Probate and Trust Law by the Board of Legal Specialization of the State Bar of California. MSirkin@SirkinLaw.com. http://www.SirkinLaw.com.
Copyright 2008 Mina N. Sirkin
